


To Feel Humbled

by ilaac98



Category: Transformers: Prime
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Blindness, Fantasy Violence, Hugging, Mentions of past abuse, dear lord give me the strength to finish this fic idea, slightly ooc in favor of emotional development, starscream is such a dumbass he was gonna operate on himself with his eyes closed from fear???, that's how i got the idea. there was no way it would have gone well for him
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-08
Updated: 2019-07-16
Packaged: 2020-06-24 09:57:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,354
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19721356
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ilaac98/pseuds/ilaac98
Summary: Diverges from the episode "Triangulation". Starscream can't take being grounded anymore and tries to perform surgery on himself. It goes horribly wrong and he ends up getting badly injured with a permanent damage. He cannot ask anyone for help, being an outcast, but for some unknown reason the Autobots still receive a distress signal from him. Will Starscream survive the consequences of his own idiocy? Will the Autobots help him?





	1. The Mistake

**Author's Note:**

> This is my very first fanfic ever. And it's dedicated to the most pathetic, back-stabbing, deceitful, trashy, slimy, honorless, undignified, rotten, stiletto-wearing, cowardly, puppy-eyed bitch I have ever seen. I hope you will like it! English isn't my first language so I apologize for any mistakes or unusual diction but I have an amazing beta-reader who's been helping me write this!

_-Inside Starscream’s hidden base-_

Starscream frowned at the tools he had collected and splayed on his desk. It was so tedious to gather them all, he even had to kill his own clone to gain the last- and most important part: His T-Cog.

The purple and cyan glow of the electronics in his secret base illuminated his face as he recalled what had occurred.

M.E.C.H.! They had attacked him in the forest all at once, like a pack! Overwhelmed him with their inferior weapons! And then… they had rid him of the ability to fly while he was unconscious!

Starscream was growling and pacing back and forth in his base, his expression scrunched up.

“Argh! Those stinking, slagging, back-stabbing, puny, VILE humans! How DARE THEY? Next time I see them **I** am going to rip out THEIR insides! See how THEY like it! To even think that they operated on me with their disgusting little meat fingers…How repellent!” He shuddered a little.

Starscream dearly regretted ever teaming up with those little treacherous ants!

His pacing slowed down, coming to a stop, the tension on his face loosening as he glanced at his clone’s T-Cog that lay across the room.

Oh, he missed flying so much already. And it hadn’t even been that long since he lost it!

“I can already feel the desire to take off intensifying… It will surely take my sanity apart if I could never regain the gift of flight again… I am a Seeker! And not just any Seeker, I am the most elegant and most aerodynamic model to ever grace this universe- let alone this planet! I cannot be grounded for the rest of my life!” He whined.

At that thought his eyes widened in panic. No- he had to perform this surgery. There’s no way he will stay grounded forever!

Quickly disregarding the idea of staying grounded, he tried to calm down and went back to the operation tools lying on his desk, observing them once again.

“Everything I require to make myself whole.”

He looked up at the bright neon screens. The scanning and analyzing of his body was complete and the computer was showing him exactly where and how to perform the surgical intervention.

He lay down on the operation berth after snatching the drill from the desk beside it.

“A simple, painless procedure.”

Though, he kept turning the tool around with a shaky servo, as if he were inspecting it for the first time.

He activated the drill and a loud, shrill noise started coming from the tool as it began spinning in his claws. His hand began to shake even more.

He quickly glanced to the computer screen one last time and back to the drill.

“Nothing to it! Really. Provided… one possesses the nerve.” He spoke over the stressful drilling sound.

He lay back and lifted the tool, pointing it at the middle of his chest.

His entire frame was trembling now. But he kept inching the pointy tip of the drill closer and closer…

The tip now almost touching.

 _“BEEB BEEB BEEB BEEB BEEB”_ the computer suddenly came to life with an alarm.

“AAAAARGH!”

Startled by the sudden, loud noise a horrible, pained scream came from Starscream as he rammed the drill into his chest, not at all were he was supposed to drill.

Slag! This was bad!

Now he was panicking and screaming as the drill was stuck in his chest and just kept drilling deeper and deeper by itself as Starscream was hyperventilating.

“SCRAP! THE BUTTON, THE BUTTON! ARGH!”

He messily reached around the drill with his claws, quickly pressing the off-switch.

But it was already too late. In no time, the drill had cut through a thick, vital cable next to his spark holder.

Starscream let his head fall back and panted as that horrible sound from the tool was silenced. Then he looked at the mess on his chest. And the pain set in at the sight.

The pointy tool had snapped big metal splinters from his torso and created ugly cracks coming from the hole.

The drill had splattered energon on him and around the room with its fast circular motions.

A lot of energon began to leak from the hole.

“Hah… hah…” Starscream panted with a horrified expression on his face as he looked at the mess on his chest.

His first instinct was to grab the drill and pull it out.

Instinct bad. As soon as he touched it, a pain shot through him even worse than the constant pulsing coming from the wound. He quickly retracted his hand.

“ACK!! …This is bad… really bad! I need help…I could send out a distress signal! Then-”

Help… from whom? He was an outcast now. Everyone wanted him dead. Both the Autobots and Megatron. Even humans.

Asking for help was not an option.

Panic started rising in him again. With a heave he got up from the berth but the sudden movement caused him another great deal of pain and his vision sparked white for a moment.

He groaned but made a first step toward the hallway. He needed to find something to treat the wound with. But what would that even be? How does he treat the wound with the object still stuck in it?

“Dammit, I have no idea what to do! I am not a fragging mechanic!”

He would have started to hyperventilate again if he was not beginning to feel dizzy from the lack of energon. He managed to make a few more steps toward the hallway, energon dripping on the floor. Then his legs gave out and he fell forward, not even having the strength to dampen the impact with his arms.

He needed help. He just wanted someone to help him. That was all he thought before his vision began to turn darker and darker.

_-At that moment in the Autobot Base-_

_Beeb beeb beeb_

Ratchet looked at the screen as it picked up a signal several hundred miles away from their base.

“What is it, Ratchet?” Arcee jumped up from the bench across the room when she heard the beeping.

“I don’t know. It’s neither the sign of Decepticon activity nor a message from Fowler. It seems to be… a distress signal!”

“By whom?” Optimus asked as he walked up next to Ratchet and looked at the screen.

Ratchet analyzed the SOS signal and a picture of the stiletto wearing Decepticon came into view.

“It’s Starscream!” Ratchet gasped.

Everyone was standing around the computer screen now.

Bulkhead groaned. “What does he want this time?”

“I don’t know. But last time he needed something from us, he had send a high frequency signal, not an SOS. Let me see if there’s a message attached.” Ratchet answered and typed to see if there was something to decipher about the unusual frequency.

Indeed a message window opened up and Ratchet read aloud: “Help”

A short silence.

Arcee cocked an eyebrow at that. “No demands? No deal he wants to strike? It just says “help”? That’s… even more suspicious. A trap.”

“Obviously.” Bulkhead joined in.

Ratched agreed “I wouldn’t expect anything else from him”. He crossed his arms and looked up at Optimus, who stood next to him in the half-circle.

Optimus noticed the look from Ratchet and spoke up “I would not be surprised if this is part of a scheme of his to trick us. The possibility that we would get ambushed if we fall for it is very high. But it is unusual of him to send us his current location. If we ground bridge to his coordinates, he would be faced with us instantly. If he is still alone, that would be a foolish ambush plan.”

“You’re saying Starscream isn’t a fool?” Arcee had to smile a little at that joke.

“Either that, or he really is in urgent need of our help. So we should waste no time and ground bridge to him right away.”

“What!?” Everyone shouted in unison.

“Optimus, are you sure? Even if he does need help, why should we give it to him?” Arcee spat and crossed her arms in disapproval.

“Yeah, what’s he ever done for us? I mean ASIDE from the trouble he’s always caused. He wouldn’t even thank us for this!” Bulkead complained and Bumblebee beeped in agreement.

Optimus sighed. “Probably. But we will not judge him prematurely and take away any possible opportunities to ally with him against Megatron. No matter how small the chances are for that. Ratchet, you will come with us in case Starscream needs medical assistance. The children are not here today since they are taking an important physics exam, so we need someone to stay behind to operate the ground bridge.”

“I can do that.” Bulkhead spoke up. “I was having a good day until now, so I’m not in the mood to see that back-stabbing coward.”

“Neither are we…” Bumblebee grumpily beeped to himself.

Optimus ignored everyone’s annoyed faces and complaints. “Very well. Activate the ground bridge and have it prepared to open at our location at any time.”

Ratchet synched the portal with the coordinates of Starscream’s distress signal and opened it. The group gathered in front of the portal with Optimus standing ahead of them, staring forward.

As Ratchet, Arcee, and Bumblebee looked at Optimus’ back, Ratchet quietly spoke to them. “You probably noticed that his reasoning wasn’t very… strong. But it’s no use arguing. I’ve known Optimus for so long, I know he could never deny helping those in need, not even the enemy. His moral compass and his kindness is just as strong as him and it could get us into big trouble someday. But I admit that this is exactly what separates us from the Decepticons.”

“Exactly, Ratchet.” Oh. Optimus had heard him.

Optimus looked back at his team one more time. “The Decepticons would never show such mercy and honor, that’s why we should.”

Everyone nodded in understanding now.

He looked forward again and began to walk farther into the portal, his teammates following close behind. “Have your weapons ready and prepared, in case it is a trap after all. Now, let’s go.”

And they disappeared into the light, unprepared for what they would see next.


	2. The Decision

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Autobots find Starscream unconcious and decide what to do with him.

_-Back in Starscream’s hidden base-_

The ground bridge opened and Optimus, Arcee, Ratchet, and Bumblebee emerged from the bright light. They stood in the center of the big, dark room that was the crashed ship’s medical bay.

They looked around. “No welcoming committee, huh? I don’t know if that’s a good thing or a bad thing.“ Arcee said, cautiously holding her blaster ready.

“Keep your optics open for any movement. Starscream cannot be far.” Optimus said, then noticed something on the medical berth across the room. “What is this?” He approached it.

The others joined him and followed his gaze. “This berth… it’s covered in energon…” Ratchet commented. “I’m sure of it.”

Bumblebee beeped loudly a few meters away, catching everyone’s attention. He pointed at a trail of energon leading around the corner to the hallway.

The group nodded to each other and silently began to advance towards it.

Arcee peeked around the corner and saw Starscream lying on the floor not far away. “I see him! But I think he’s unconscious.” She dropped her cover and motioned for the others to follow. As they approached, they could see Starscream’s form more clearly. And the object in his chest.

Their eyes went wide. “Primus! What in the name of Cybertron happened to him?” Ratchet said as everyone just stood and stared for a moment. Starscream was basically lying in a puddle of his own energon.

Quickly regaining his cool, Optimus reacted. “So Starscream really did not intend to ambush us. Ratchet, quick! Check his spark activity!”

Ratchet nodded and hastily knelt down beside Starscream to scan his spark activity. “He’s still online but his sparkpulse…is abnormal and weak. He’s lost a lot of energon. My scanner also detects severe damage below where that object is stuck. Maybe it hit the aorta cord, but I would need to get him in my lab under the big scanner to tell for sure, since I can’t just pull the object out and look.”

“But… do we want Starscream in our base? Optimus, what should we do with him?” Arcee intervened. “I mean, sure he needs help. But he is still the enemy. And a very nasty one too…” She eyed Starscream, conflicted how she should feel about that dirty Con being in this state. _“This just feels weird”_ She thought to herself.

Optimus crouched beside Starscream too, across from Ratchet. “I understand your concern. But we cannot let him die like this.”

“Hm… Can’t we treat him here somehow? I mean, this is a medical bay.” Arcee suggested.

Optimus looked at the mechanic. “Ratchet?”

“Well, it is possible, but this ship is only equipped with Decepticon technology. Of course I could figure out how to utilize it but it would take me some time to figure it out. And I don’t think Starscream has that time. I need to treat him in my own lab as soon as possible if we want to save him.”

Everyone felt conflicted now. So they looked at Optimus who was still crouching next to the passed out Decepticon. They already knew what he was going to say.

“Then it is decided. We will take Starscream to our base and try to treat him there.”

The three Bots nodded at him.

Arcee then sighed. “I can’t believe we're saving him. But we trust your decision, Optimus. Bulkhead! Requesting ground bridge!”

“Coming right up, Arcee!” Bulkhead’s voice came through her wrist speaker and a second later the portal opened in the same spot it had appeared earlier.

The Autobots eyed the portal and Ratchet inquired “Now, how’re we going to get Starscream-“ He looked back at Optimus who was already carrying Starscream in his arms with ease. “Nevermind.”

_-Back at the Autobot base-_

Complete silence. No computer noises and no wind could be heard. Starscream heard nothing and felt nothing when he felt himself come to. Surprisingly, he felt no pain, so he lifted a servo and touched his chest but felt no wound and no object stuck in him.

_‘My wound is-? It’s gone?’ he wondered._

Slowly he opened his eyes. But something was wrong. Very wrong.

‘ _What?!? Why is it pitch-black in here? I can’t see scrap! Where am I?!’_

Calm Starscream. Stay calm _._

_‘Urgh… What is the last thing I can remember? I know I was going to… insert my clone’s T-Cog into me but that stupid, loud noise made me mess up! Stupid computer!’_

Starscream clenched his fists but continued trying to recall what happened.

_‘I think I passed out at some point. And then… I remember feeling someone pick me up… SLAG.’_

What if Megatron had found him somehow? And this dark room was supposed to psyche him out as the first part of his torture?? It was time to get out of here, now! Somehow…

Starscream slowly got up and felt that he was not cuffed and simply lying on a berth.

That was weird. Maybe he was supposed to get the impression he could escape, just to crush that hope later on?

He stood and carefully started advancing forwards, his servos stretched out so that he couldn’t bump into something. After a few meters he met a wall and he felt around until he noticed the wall was actually a door.

_‘Once I find the button for it I will be out of this dark room!’_

His servos searched around the door frame and he quickly found a button and pressed it. He heard the door opening, but was still engulfed by darkness.

 _‘What is this?!? How is it still pitch-black everywhere?? Is the entire ship in this state??’_ He clearly heard the sound of the door open and felt the weak breeze it created.

This was ridiculous! Could this really be some kind of mental torture? Megatron was usually the type to simply beat him up. Something just did not feel right.

Then a terrifying suspicion invaded Starscream’s mind.

_‘The area on my chest I hit with the drill… Could I really have gotten this unlucky and damaged the cord that power my optics?’_

He backed into the room again. Suddenly he stood on his tip-toes, and lifted his arms, searching for something on the ceiling.

“Come on, come on…” He mumbled to himself. _‘Surely there must be a light source somewhere.’_

And indeed he found what felt like a very outdated lamp. Since when did they have those? But that was not important right now. Starscream held his servo against it and his face dropped. His suspicion was confirmed. The lamp was warm. The lights were definitely turned on. That- That meant…

“I’m… I’m blind! Primus, no no no! This can’t be happening to me! It…just can’t…” He put his face in his hands and shook his helm in despair. This was all too much. First, he lost his flight and now he lost his vision! And on top of it all, he is in a place he does not recognize at all and has no idea how he even got there!

“Oh, what did I ever do to deserve this? Why does Fate antagonize me so much?? Argh!!” Starscream cried.

Then quickly covered his mouth with his own servos. He should not make any noise, not knowing if there could be someone nearby.

Now how should he approach this situation?

 _‘I am in no state to fight or defend myself_. _But I cannot wait here any longer for my captor to return! Even if it will be difficult, I need to find a way out. Or… maybe it is best to wait after all and talk my way out of this?’_

Since he was _very good_ at “talking” his way out of sticky situations. Surely, his captor would take pity on a flightless, blind, defenseless seeker? But what if not… It was a risk, so Starscream decided to try and sneak out. If he got caught he could still resort to begging.

Now, it was time to step out of the room. He made his first step into the hallway and listened for any sounds. Everything was still dead silent. So he chose to feel his way along the wall to his right. Slowly but steadily he set foot after foot, his servos sliding along the wall.

He kept going for a while until suddenly, he heard a door open in the distance. There were voices coming from a room farther away. He recognized those voices in an instant!

“I didn’t expect seeker anatomy to be so different than ours. I was able to seal his wounds and fully stop the energon loss but I can’t make anything of this damaged wiring that leads to his head.”

_‘That’s the medic! So I am in the Autobots base? But why did the Autobots treat my wounds? And did not even tie me up? Do they think I am not a threat?_

“In Autobots that’s a vital spark cord but in him it was something else, connecting to his processor or a different part in his helm. He might not be fully functional anymore if the power to an important function got cut off.”

 _‘Congratulations. You guessed right.’_ Starscream sarcastically thought. He kept listening.

“Important functions?” A strong, deep voice asked.

 _‘Optimus Prime!_ ’

“Yes, functions like sensing. Hearing, seeing, and smelling. But in the worst case scenario his brain is now… Out of order. We’ll see if, or when he wakes up.”

“I see. What did you do with the cord?”

“Since the damaged wire was useless and possibly damaging him from the inside, I removed it and sealed the left over edges shut. I tried to repair the cut out piece but I don’t possess the right material, nor the knowledge of Starscream’s anatomy.

Starscream’s optics widened. “You did WHAT.”

SCRAP! Did he just yell that?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> oof i finally got the second chapter out. took me only 2 weeks heh sorry for that! comments and criticism is much appreciated!


End file.
